Originally Posted Monday, July 8, 2013
Okay, I’d like to first address the most recent issue surrounding a “missing” child from the Trinidad Neighborhood located in NE, Washington, DC named Michael Kingsbury who is approximately 60lbs, has dreadlocks, and is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Let me REMIND ALL OF YOU NOW, I AM A MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH AUTISM!
I DO HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDERS, HOWEVER THESE BLOG POSTS ARE MY “INSIGHTS AND OPINIONS” THEY ARE NOT FACTS, UNLESS PROVEN TO BE!
IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH WHAT I AM SAYING FEEL FREE TO LEAVE MY BLOG AND NEVER RETURN, OR STATE YOUR CASE MATURELY.
THIS IS AMERICA AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO MY OPINION; IN ADDITION TO VOICING IT!
I am praying that Michael is found immediately!
I am praying that when he’s found, he’s unharmed and hasn’t been violated in any form.
I also pray that his mother receives counseling and support services pertaining to effective parenting and her child’s diagnosis of Autism.
I am praying that whatever “truly” happened comes to light.
I pray that she finds and maintains her inner peace, because despite how I “feel” about the situation; I can only imagine what’s going on in her heart, mind, body and soul right now.
He’s a seven year old boy who lives in Northeast, Washington, DC; from what I’ve gathered via the limited information provided on the news; with “a single mother and siblings.”
Now I must say “seeing and hearing” his mother and the DC Firefighters Union on TV, didn’t move me at all.
First off, I haven’t been able to fathom her accounts leading up to her son’s disappearance.
I’m still trying to figure out her accounts and actual whereabouts the entire time.
She stated: “my daughter told me he was outside playing, he knows he’s not supposed to be outside, I went outside calling him…. Michael get your butt in here.”
Now as a mother, I take issue with her accounts to the extent I feel this was another “neglectful situation that could have been prevented.”
She is aware that her son is diagnosed with Autism. She’s also aware that he won’t speak to anyone unless engaged.
Now what she obviously lacks is “accountability and provisions.”
When she said “he knows” I thought, really, he knows?
A child “knowing” not to do something and having provisions (limitations or rewards) set to enforce and reinforce that knowledge are completely different things.
I believe that we as parents in general have to understand that “most times” a child needs provisions (limitations or rewards whichever is applicable) set in place to enforce or reinforce their knowledge; so that their behavior and accomplishments correspond.
What I don’t like about the entire case is that her whereabouts have not been clarified.
I’m wondering if she was actually “in the home” as she stated.
Then I need parents to read between the lines and take note: her daughter was the “accountable” party in the matter, because she reported that her brother was missing.
What’s extremely perplexing to me is that this woman’s doors were apparently closed, but unlocked while she either slept or was absent.
If I’m not mistaken (I began to eat a little) they reported that Michael left in just a diaper or pull-up.
You mean to tell me, NOBODY saw a child half naked walking down the alley or street?
HOW TO PREVENT THIS (as much as it’s humanly possible):
1. Be proactive with your children. Meaning, plan for the worst and expect the best!
Always make sure you know what they are wearing from the time they wake up in the morning (Especially if they are school aged) take a picture from your phone if you need to, or make note of it.
Each child, especially those age 5 and older should “know” their address and how to get home. If not exactly how, they should have a general idea. It’d be great if they memorized an emergency number or VIP (other than their parents) to contact also.
2. Teach your kids the phrase “stranger danger” and teach them how to use it.
Also, in conjunction teach them about using their “grown up” voice when they need help or are in fear!
Explain to them in detail the importance of “screaming stranger danger” in the event anyone, even another child “they don’t know or aren’t comfortable with” touches them, grabs them, or tries to talk them into coming with or doing something for them.
FYI: just because a child “met” a person doesn’t mean they “know” that person. It simply means they have “knowledge of” that person. **A child with Autism may NOT have knowledge of a person, place or thing, that’s inconsistent in their lives** It still doesn’t mean that person is trustworthy.
3. Stop making other and older siblings responsible for their younger siblings! If you aren’t mentally/emotionally, physically, and financially stable or fit to provide for the children, then DO NOT have them! You also have the option of relinquishing your parental rights.
4. LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP! LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP! LEARN TO ASK FOR HELP!
5. Use alarms! One thing I’ve always prided myself in doing was using alarms. For years, I’ve used an alarm for almost everything. With today’s technology I love having a Blackberry as opposed to your traditional alarm clock.
I know that as parents, I can only imagine as a single parent with multiple children how frustrating, overwhelmed, and exhausted it can be. However, “in my opinion” there’s no excuse. IF you’re tired don’t be afraid to “temporarily” adjust your child’s day or desires to accommodate your NEED to rest. Without the proper rest, you aren’t at your best!
6. Ensure that your home or current environment is “child proofed.” IF you have to install cameras that you can remotely access, or place a beam in front of your door to prevent opening it from the inside or kicking it in from the outside.
7. BE RESILIENT! Sometimes, we get so caught up in how we feel, versus what we have to do. IF you know that your child doesn’t handle direction or re-directions well, then you need to be resilient and go above and beyond to ensure your child’s understanding of the matters and safety at all times, and at all costs.
8. Be clear, concise and consistent.
For example, Jr “knows” that he’s not allowed to go outside to play in our neighborhood. He “knows” that if he goes outside it will be in close proximity to the house, but away from the neighborhood. He “knows” that he can’t go with other children even if they are ” responsible teenagers or young adults.”
The provisions are in place to reinforce that knowledge. The provisions consist of his father and I explaining to Jr what will or will not happen and in what manner and time frame.
He also knows and accepts that he is NOT to open the door unless instructed or being accompanied by his father or I.
We as parents and “village people” have to do better.
WE KNOW about parents who are having a hard time; yet we see all, but say, offer and do nothing!
WE KNOW who the children are in our neighborhoods who are neglected or mistreated.
Some of us even know about the rapists, child molesters, and pedophiles that exist; yet again, we say, offer and do nothing!
Do we have to experience such tragedy in order to be empathetic? Do we have to experience such tragedy in order to learn why it’s important and how to protect our children?
I don’t think this should ever happen to a parent and their child, especially while they are home.
Usually incidents of this nature occur away from the home; not at the home.
All I can say is: “We must as parents protect our most prized possessions (children) at all times!
They are gifts from God not to be taken or handled lightly!!!!!”
IF YOU SEE MICHEAL CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY!
TELL THEM YOU WISH TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS, BUT DON’T IGNORE THIS!
WWYW (WHAT WOULD YOU WANT) OTHERS TO DO IF THIS WERE YOUR CHILD? ONCE YOU KNOW, DO IT FOR THIS CHILD!