#CANDID Beware of the Boundaries of Bitterness

Originally Posted Sunday, June 30, 2013




I am truly opening up my heart in this blog post, as I myself, WAS a victim of the “boundaries of bitterness.”

For so many years I was bitter <characterized by intense antagonism or hostility; hard to bear; grievous; distressful> about and/or with people, places and things that I won’t go into detail about; because frankly this song is not about me, it’s about you (my audience).

The boundaries of bitterness from my experience primarily comes from the state of denial.

Being in denial about who you are, what you’ve done and what you can or are willing to do; can and does cause bitterness.

When I realized that I was bitter and that my bitterness towards others was approximately 80% unjustified.

I concluded my bitterness was unjustified because I realized that no matter the person, place, or thing that caused the bitterness, I played a part in it. Therefore, I had to first become accountable if not just to myself but others, regarding the part that I played.

Once I acknowledged and accepted that I’m not the easiest person to accept or be amicable with; I also accepted that I’m not as timid as “people take me to be” or “expect me to be with them!”

I’m a lot stronger and powerful (influential) than people are willing to believe or accept, unless left with no other option or it’s to their benefit.

I see, encounter, and deal with so many “bitter people” that I honestly, feel sorry for them!

Mind you, majority of the people I’m referencing “appear” to have a happy life, because of their accumulation of materialistic things. Grant it, they “do” have a particular lifestyle.

However, their “life” is not their lifestyle.

A life is style is <a  corresponding state, existence, or principle of existence conceived of as belonging to the soul> whereas a lifestyle is <the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group>

Now are you with me?

These same people’s characters are desolate <barren or laid waste; having the feeling of being of being abandoned; deprived>!

I urge people to take the time to consider their “part” in their parenting; divorces; lack of financial stability; lack of fidelity and/or loyalty needed to establish and maintain long term relationship(s); estranged family relations, etc…

You have the power to free yourself and those around you from “The boundaries of bitterness.”

You have to accept that in life “nothing will go EXACTLY as you plan” because God’s plan ALWAYS prevails!

IF your plan for your life isn’t in accordance with God’s plan, or you aren’t seeking his guidance and approval; then TRUST ME everything you touch will crumble!

I know people say, really?

Tiffany please! Ha! You’re a hater! Look at me, I’m living in a house, I’m driving this, I wear these designers, etc…

I still say “if not today, one day!”

God’s time is not maintained or displayed by our worldly clocks or calendars, it’s spiritual.

The spirit can reach you anywhere, anytime, in the midst of anything!

Never doubt the power of the spirit. The only way to prevent this “ultimate downfall = crumble” where God pretty much takes all the things and people you’ve worked for or against, from you is to “repent then amend = think better, do better and be better!”

Repenting is the first step in “thinking better.” You must repent not only for your actions but for your feelings towards a person, place or thing.

Then you must do better by “making amends or attempting to make amends with those you’ve wronged.”

Keep in mind, you can make “Spiritual” amends without ever having to involve the people, places, or things. I have written letters to people that I haven’t mailed, some I’ve even burned.

However, in the act of writing the letters, it allowed me to free myself from the boundaries of bitterness.

There are a few people that I’ve actually given an apology to! I seldom, if ever, apologize for my wrongdoings. So for me, to do that, it takes a lot! *This only works if BOTH parties have a sincere interest*

Other people, places and things, I have written prayers for; because those situations will not be rectified physically. I will only be fulfilled in the spirit; because the people aren’t open to making amends with me.

IF YOU DO NOT make amends or at least attempt to make amends with people YOU KNOW you’ve hurt….. I don’t care if you think, they don’t know, you know!

You have the power to change how you feel about them, and how you react towards them! Aren’t you tired of being mad, angry or upset? Aren’t you tired of blaming someone else for YOUR actions or reactions? Don’t you want to get a hug from them before you die? Wouldn’t it be nice to share a laugh with them? Wouldn’t it be nice to speak to them without there being an argument or tension?

IF you do not make amends either physically with the people or spiritually within yourself and your actions…..

You will find yourself not only feeling, but being lonelier; more anxious to acquire more things; you will display more hatred towards those you remain bitter with; you will never admit your faults; you will never make or attempt to make amends with those you have wronged; you will only seek control in situations (you aren’t comprising); you seek validation through your job, clothes, or relationships, etc..

You have to ask God to provide you with a clear mind and an open heart, in order for you to begin the process of freeing yourself.

You must remember you have to come to God with a pure heart and pure intent and he will guide you accordingly.

Once I allowed God to guide me, I’ve freed myself from the boundaries of bitterness.

There’s nothing a person can say, do or even think about me that will have an impact in my life (beyond a temporary feeling and acknowledgement of that feeling).

I know who I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going with God’s continued grace and mercy.

If you want to truly be happy then you have to first free yourself from the boundaries of bitterness.

Try this affirmation:

“Father, God, I ask that everyday you give me the intelligence to think better, the resilience to do better and the faith ONLY in you to be better, so that I may forever remain free from the boundaries of bitterness!”