Originally Posted Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Once you’re a certain age and you have attained certain things in your life; you must not be “desperate” for relationships with anyone, not your mother; father; sister; brother etc.. especially when you know “their unhealthy” or “a lost cause!”
Just because you LOVE someone, doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to their lives, nor do you have to interact with them. You owe nothing to anyone! God provides for us all!
I’ve ALWAYS been the type of person that “doesn’t accept bullshit in general” and it’s especially, not acceptable in my personal life! If your MY friend or spouse, then I expect you to reciprocate what I give and provide to you.
However, if a relationship “stresses me” more than it “blesses me” then it’s time to ex-communicate from that individual. I no longer “am desperate” as I once was, for friend/companionship!
I have accepted that I will ALWAYS have people that love me, that hate me and the ones that love to hate me yet simultaneously hate to love me. I’ve also accepted that because of my “brutal honesty” that’s even more the reason some people will forever be standoffish or blatantly offended!
I’m okay with that, because God created me and my life, for a purpose and obviously “people pleasing” is not what I’m destined to do. Teaching is!
Now to those who may not be as “confidant or cut throat” as I am; you all have “more work” ahead of you.
First you must “be clear” about what you are willing to give and what you need to receive in order to establish and maintain a productive relationship.
If the person that you’re dealing with is “constantly combative and uncompromising” then you have to make a conscious decision to “ex-communicate” because to maintain communication with someone who is obviously selfish, ignorant and narcissistic is unhealthy.
People that are “contractors or part time” in your life, don’t deserve your love or acknowledgement on a full time basis.
We have to accept that “giving up” is not a weakness! It is an impeccable display of strength and wisdom! It shows that you have enough pride, intellect and ability to move forward; because you deserve better!
People who “cling” to unhealthy people/relationships are “Extremely Insecure” and seriously need to do a self evaluation and figure out “exactly” why they are clinging to someone or something that’s unhealthy. This includes “overbearing, selfish, narcissistic” parents, spouses, siblings, etc… ”
Ask yourself: what is it about them that I can’t seem to let go, when they treat me/make me feel so bad about myself and my life? Why do I constantly “ask” them for help in the capacity that I haven’t received previously and probably won’t ever receive from this person?
If people truly and I mean truly = sincerely, and purely (free of expectations) love you; then they will make the necessary compromises, adjustments and gestures necessary to accommodate your relationship with them.
If they don’t make any alterations to their character in an effort to continue a healthy relationship with you, then you know EXACTLY where you stand with them. Don’t over think “what’s right in your face as facts!”
Once you know “the truth” about a person and their character, YOU have the power to change your situation/relationship with them, otherwise you will be subjected to whatever they have for you.
What are you going to do? Be desperate or be “determined” to accept ONLY what you deserve?!