Originally Posted Monday, July 8, 2013
As I think about the path I’ve walked and am currently walking right now, I concluded that people dislike, envy, or fail to acknowledge me because I’m truly “self made <successful through one’s own actions; made by oneself or itself.>”
Long before I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorders or accepted the diagnosis; I was a thinker and a doer! Blatantly, an executioner!
Yes, people may have informed, instructed, and in SOME instances assisted me; however ultimately through my faith in and reverence for God, he equipped me to get it done!
As spiritually and physically rewarding as being self made has been and can be; it’s a bitter experience on the flip side.
Recently, I have experienced writer’s block <a usually temporary psychological inability to begin or continue work on a piece of writing.> due to my lividity.
I’ve grown livid because “as usual” I’m being silently scrutinized without being sincerely supported!
My friends and family have NOT fully supported my blogging, yet these ARE the people who love to give me or others their opinions regarding what should be done in our lives.
It never seeks to amaze me at how people “who think” they know you, how harshly they can and will treat you.
Keep in mind I KNOW you see my Facebook, Google +, Instagram, and Twitter posts.
I also KNOW that because of “how you think and feel about me” you have not and probably will not support me.
The same people who IGNORE my request’s to leave a comment on my blog posts or provide their feedback in detail, HAVE NOT!
Yet, these same people “HAVE, CAN, AND WILL” call, text, email, socially network to communicate with me to seek my advice or enlist me for their endeavors.
Then, people wonder why as much as I reach out, I’m subject to “pull back” more!
I’ve decided NOT to live in lividity.
I must acknowledge how I feel.
I’ve made a decision that going forward I’m NOT reaching out or requesting anything anymore.
Hence “what’s meant to be will be; what isn’t, won’t!”
That also means “I” and my advice and assistance are no longer rendered services.
I’M NOW PUTTING ALL MY ENERGY INTO BUILDING MY BUSINESS!!
I’ve advised and assisted others in one capacity or another for the last twenty years.
No more stealing my ideas, taking my advice, having me do the footwork for you to benefit, etc.
That is no more.
I “give as I expect to receive” and since the scale is unbalanced, I must activate tunnel vision.
As livid as I am, I’m actually 20% relieved.
I’m relieved because people made it easier for me to disappear and become distant.
I’m at a point in my life, where I WANT positive relationships; I DON’T NEED THEM!
Supporting a person is not always about money.
This blog (and additional intellectual property of mine) is a way for everyone whose ALWAYS had something to say to or about me; to say it!
Once my deadline arrives, I will NOT be open to people’s opinions; not to the extent I take them into account. I can’t help my ears being open LMAO
This was the ONLY time and platform allotted for that. I’m giving people until the end of the year.
I urge anyone out there regardless of your backstory, if you have a dream, pursue it!
Being self made is bittersweet, because it’s sacrificial.
You must be willing to sacrifice everything you have; to gain everything you desire!
I’ve sacrificed myself, jobs, money, relationships and more; all the while God was and IS working in, on, and through me.
With all the progress I’ve made I obviously still “intimidate or entertain” of people, that’s also *duly noted!*
As I sit here, climbing out of my dungeon of downtrodden; my self esteem is redeemed!!!!
Know that God doesn’t give you a burning desire for you to experience a burn out!
If he brought you to it, he will bring you through it!
Repeat after me: “I’m self made, not store bought or factory built; with every sacrifice I become more sufficient. Despite all obstacles set before me, they are all converted into opportunities. Through my faith in and reverence for God, I still stand!”