#CANDID WOMEN: Keep your home front tight HBIC style!

Originally Posted Tuesday, July 9, 2013




Am I the only person that sees a trend with Traci Steele and relationship drama? Is she being a peacemaker? Is she being selfish?
Here’s why I say that:
From what I’ve observed, Traci is all about LOYALTY; I give her “a pat on the back” for that. She doesn’t like being lied to, played with, or disrespected and embarrassed; especially publicly.
I’d like to know what Traci expected to accomplish from her “efforts” to bring Erica and Shay together to clear the air?
Now, in regards to Traci attempting to be the peacemaker between Erica and Shay (Bucky) again ruffled my feathers with her!
I still don’t understand “Why” she thought it was appropriate or “her place” to attempt to reconcile a relationship between two women that never existed and validate the presence of another who should not have been involved in the situation to begin with.
Traci needs to do some serious “self reflection” because she’s delusional right now!
She’s trying to advise and inform people of the happenings of; and on what to do in their relationships when she “doesn’t even have one!”
Not to mention, the relationship she did “have” was insignificant for the entire seven year duration.
I say insignificant because nothing “major” took place during their relationship. They had a son, I believe they lived together, Drew constantly cheated, Traci constantly settled for less in the name of love and having a family unit; does that not sum it up?
If their relationship was of any significance, the two of them, or at least one of them (in my opinion and experience) would have “found and maintained” a sincere, loving, relationship with someone by now.
However, in my opinion she’s still “in love” with Drew or at least the idea of him. She loves the attention that he gives to her, no matter how he gives it to her or where. She thrives off it.
She’s so delusional that she’s entertaining Drew to the extent she’s not even firmly planted in this relationship and already there’s cracks in her foundation.
She didn’t do her “recon or homework” on the man she’s currently dating (or was dating because the show is prerecorded); she didn’t date him for at least 6 months before trying to introduce him to Drew or Drew Jr. (She was like a child on the first day of school, in a fresh outfit; eager to *flaunt*); then last but not least, she’s continued to give Drew money for investments and has yet to receive any financial reciprocation or respect from him.
What was Traci’s motive in going to Rasheeda with the information regarding Kirk’s behavior at her event?
I respect what Traci did, I just don’t like “how” she did it.
I must admit that I’m torn regarding Traci’s actions concerning Kirk.
I agree to disagree with her actions.
I believe that as a woman, for the sake of their friendship she was right to inform her.
Despite, my discontent for people that pride themselves in “running telling that.” I have discontent because in my adolescence, I had a bad experience with a female coming to me with information.
She came to me, with what she believed to be pertinent information. I was forever changed from a confident person to insecure behind that conversation. Eventually my self esteem was restored and exaggerated. LOL
What I learned about him was that, he was honest with me. He was uninhibited. I also learned that she and several other females “like her” over the years, told me things only to distract me. They were distracting me because they’d either already slept with the guy I was dealing with; or were creating their plan to sleep with him.
The very females that were “running telling me this or that” were the same females I’ve caught with the guy; I’ve been privileged to overhear verbatim conversations and acts between the two and more!
Due to those incidents, I prefer to discover things for myself. I like knowing “exactly” what I’m dealing with.
However, I feel like Traci should have “called Rasheeda on the spot” to inform her of the incident.
I am the type of person that prides myself in handling things in a timely manner.
I do not like “time delays” as a matter of fact, I hate them! So, IF I were going to inform her, I would have done it on the spot. That way, there’s no room for “assumption or alterations” from Kirk or myself.
Kirk did that to himself as we all saw, because his behavior was highly inappropriate and selfish. I’m sure he knew that wasn’t what Rasheeda meant. Being the selfish person he is; he used her statement as the excuse to go out and “literally do him!” He was frustrated and basically acted out “sinned.”
God will deal with Kirk!
Repentance, accountability and a revised plan for his future are essential IF he wants to continue his marriage with Rasheeda.
That’s still based upon whether or not God lays that on her heart. Yet, based on what I’ve seen online they are still “hanging in there.”
He’s already made a public apology and given his sorry ass explanation.
REMEMBER: Kirk made a vow, not only to Rasheeda but to and before God; so trust me he will have his day! God will discipline him in “his time and in his way!” Kirk himself will be shocked by the disciplinary action taken in his life once it happens. The only way to attempt to “prevent” it is to repent, but that doesn’t mean because God forgives you; he won’t discipline you.
Ladies and Gentlemen beware…… People like Traci and Benzino (hell no I didn’t forget him, he’s an entirely separate blog post though LOL) ARE NOT friends!
These are people that “love to hate you.”
They love you because they admire you; respect you somewhat and aspire to be more like you and acquire the things in your possession or things remotely close.
They hate you because they aren’t you, and no matter what they do or how much they make; they may never have the things or people in their life as you have. They also hate you because they “can’t break you!”
Be careful about people “eager” to report to you or on you, the negatives in your relationship!
They are no different than customers who have one bad experience with a store and then they write defaming reviews online about the company.
My mother had a saying, “never tell someone something that you wouldn’t want to hear told to you in the street!” That statement should be an affirmation married people live by! Trust me, so many marriages may have been saved by just that M.O.
As a married woman, with single friends and family members, who have NEVER been married (quiet as kept some have never been engaged either); and some don’t have children. I can’t trust in them or rely on them for relevant information; because “they have NO experience in that field.”
*I know that’s my close-minded thinking* This is true! Yet, that thinking IS working for me. Had I listened to the aforementioned type of people, I wouldn’t have changed my life; married my husband/had our son; or be blogging right now!!!!
They only have opinions gathered through observations and conversations, but NO experience. I must say to you all “get some experience or get some business!”
Would you hire someone whose only been a chef to fly your jet; because they convinced you they could or should? LOL, IJS
Even I’ve obtained experience in the fields I wish to give my opinion on.
To be married, is to be on another level than your single peers and associates; mentally/spiritually/emotionally, physically, and financially!
Being a “Wife” and/or Mother to me means you’re a Matriarch!
Matriarch’s have certain responsibilities; not only to themselves, but those around them. There are certain moral and ethical standards that must be upheld at all times. In the event they aren’t upheld, the appearance of upholding should be in tact.
Spectators shouldn’t see or believe they see “your loose ends causing everything to unravel.”
Keep your spectators guessing; at all times!
I’ve had people who I “thought” were confidants or my ride or dies; “try” to ruin me.
I’m talking from “stalking and harassing me, dragging my name through the mud in the streets, social networking battles and even following and friending people in my circle” just to keep tabs on or give defaming reports about me.
What they forgot is “I keep records of almost everything.”
I just had to prove that to someone last year. I’m SMH and LMAO because the redemption was bittersweet.
However, my homefront was kept tight HBIC (head ^%&$% in charge) style “at all times!”
You will not betray me and stay with me!
Even some in my #Vault were thrown for a loop by my actions and reactions.
Some were even appalled at how efficiently I ex-communicated from them.
I love to quarantine and what I can’t quarantine must be destroyed or cease to exist.
Rasheeda, in my opinion has to learn how to be the “Boss Chick” that she proclaims to be; at all times and in all things!
Rasheeda, really needs to STOP I repeat STOP confiding in her mother, and other women who’ve never walked in her shoes and who obviously have no more self control than you.
You need levelheaded God fearing people right now to confide in. Not those who are going to “turn up with or for you!”
If you must confide in them, learn how to “quarantine” them. Your mother has no right “verbally or physically addressing or attacking Kirk regarding the matters at hand.”
Kirk is your husband and he is “obligated” to respond to and acknowledge you; but your mother has completely overstepped her boundaries. She should be thankful and grateful that Kirk has the respect for her that he does; otherwise she could’ve made your situation ten times worse.
She destroyed his property, she came on private property to do it (from how it appears on tv). She even went as far as threatening him with the statement “I’m not done with you yet!” Come on now, whose the “mature” person in all this?
Keep God first in all that you do. Ask God to guide you regarding your marriage. The only rule book for marriage is the word of God. Therefore God is the only opinion and/or punishment that you and your husband should concern yourselves with.
STOP divulging details about your spouse because you’d be amazed at how people “plan your downfall” simply because they “envy” what you have.
If you’re naive enough they will assist you if not manipulate you; into sabotaging your situation so that like them, you’d be single and ready to mingle too.
MOST single friends “HATE” to see their friends get married! Usually the ones that get married “like myself” are the “life of the party.”
So when we decide to “mature or turn down” people get in their feelings, because like a marriage… friendships are relationships that must be maintained and nobody likes being the “side piece or rebound.”
Friends tend to “feel this way” even if that’s not how we are treating them.
NOT ALL single friends are this way, but honestly speaking I haven’t met one yet that hasn’t screamed “divorce, do you, fuck that shit, etc..” in response to any issue or topic I’ve brought their way regarding marriage.
Be careful of those that claim to love and care for you.
Remember, people “Say they want to see you doing and feeling good” but REMEMBER it’s NEVER better than them. BEWARE of —–> #CrabsInABucket
Remember the key to keeping your home front tight, HBIC style is reminding people when it comes to your life, “God’s got this! Get some experience or get some business!”  ~HBIC