#CANDID #Parenting … Presence VS Presents

Originally Posted Wednesday, December 25, 2013


Presence VS Presents



Merry Christmas from Tiffany and family. ��������

This is a celebration of the birth of Jesusgiving more than you receive and how he was “sacrificed” for our sins, but provided an example of obedience, faith, and salvation. That’s how I remember my mother teaching me about Christmas.

This is also what we’ve taught Jr since he was 7 months old.

I’ve watched so many parents fail to teach their children what “Christmas” is truly about.

I’ve seen parents continue to “lie” to their children about “Santa Claus” year after year, with no remorse. Some of these same parents, then wonder why their children grow up to become liars (deceitful people)! They’ve been given an example……

I believe many of us, especially “single parents” are overcompensating for “things they lacked in their childhood, untimely pregnancies and failed relationship with the co- parent/ the need to appear to be the better parent by stroking your ego and reinforcing your child’s false sense of entitlement because you’re neglectful by putting everything as a priority over your family, especially that job you worship.

Each year Jr receives a lesson about “sacrifice” and how that blesses him continuously. He gives away his old clothes to someone in need. Jr has chores that he receives allowance for to purchase things he wants, he understands Christmas is “Jesus birthday” and your birthday is where you get “your gifts!” 

Jr knows “for Christmas” he receives “tokens of appreciation” for his “sacrifices and accomplishments” throughout the year.

It’s also mandatory that we watch the story of Jesus, our home video from Christmas 2009 when Jr was just 3 years old…

We enjoy seeing how far we’ve come as a family, while preparing ourselves for the work and blessings that lie aheaof us.

My husband has been able to “relax and be a father” as Jr isn’t like any of his other children (because of the woman I am) I refuse to allow Jr to “have a false sense of entitlement!” 

My husband’s “presence” is what I’ve taught Jr to value over any “present” his father or I could give.

Jr loves us purely. He just loves us because as he says “we’re the greatest parents ever!”

know from my own experiences that when you teach a child to “love and respect you primarily, if not only because of what you can do for them” versus who you are to them, you’ll always be “trying” to buy love and redemption and you’ll continuously fail.

Your child will still “disrespect” you, your home, value system and upbringing you’ve instilled in them or tried to.

I’m sure many of you will shake your heads and “scream on the mountain tops I’m hating!” I “challenge” you to scream after that “your truth” behind your reason for maintaining a farce.

Trust I’m not envious and I’m not hating.

 I’m merely stating my “method of operation, my truths and my observations.”

Jr is and will remain a “grateful” person.

 The best “gifts” you can give to your child is “intellect, humility, honesty and accountability!”

I’m blessed that my husband and I have given Jr the gifts of “intellect, humility, honesty and accountability!”  It’s made raising him effortless but immeasurably rewarding! 

I can only “tell you” but I can’t help you or make you understand.

Don’t believe me, just watch the difference between Jr and your child or children going forward…

Again, (presents) “money can’t buy love or redemption” money only buys “false senses of entitlement, temporary control/relevance, and instant gratification!”

Yet, “presence” earns you “pure love, longevity of gratification, and loyalty.

Learn to utilize and maximize on the potential of your “presence” versus relying on the effects of your “presents!”