#CANDID #PSA: Men where are your morals? STOP being so easy!!!

Originally Posted Monday, July 22, 2013


PER MY FACEBOOK STATUS: Talk about ‪#‎Creep‬! Okay, so I’m walking to go to Jr’s summer school location and one of my “neighbors” notices me and he immediately says: “hey I never see you over here on this side. 

What brings you out and over?” I LOL and respond “that’s true, however I have a son who attends school here! Have a good day!” ( I keep walking)

 this “desperate man” goes on to “invade my privacy” by saying: “Oh good Mommy, how old is your son?” I said: “Wooooooo! What difference does that make? That’s personal information and I already obliged your initial interaction with me, now you’ve overstepping your boundaries of common courtesy.” 

He says: “oh man it’s not like that don’t be like that” 

I said: “Sir let me explain something to you, when a REAL WOMAN speaks to you, that’s all she’s doing is speaking. IF she had an interest IN you, you’d know it! 

Now in regards to what I just said, is that NOT personal information that you asked me? Is that NOT you being nosey for your own personal gratification and attempt to befriend and possible have a sexual encounter with me?” He looks stupid and then says: “yeah whatever and walked away” I SMH and kept it moving… Some men are so desperate it’s pathetic.

I’m NOT a “mad or nasty black woman; not unless given a reason to be!”  

I am simply “irritated” by desperate men. Lately I’ve seen an increase in the desperateness of men. 

I’m irritated and disappointed. I’m irritated because NOT enough men have morals and self respect anymore. I’m disappointed because NOT enough men see, accept and are willing to change this. 

There’s a great deal of men who are “comfortable and content” with being the “maintenance man!” 

They pride themselves in being “on call/available” to any woman that calls on them for sex; money; companionship, etc. 

Yet, these same men “complain and often wonder” why they are single. 

They confide in women like myself that they actually “desire a relationship; but because of their routines and egotistical endeavors they aren’t certain they would fully trust or commit.” 

What I don’t understand is why “men” expect women to respect them, when they don’t respect themselves. 

I need men to understand the way you “begin with a woman is the way you should end with a woman!” In most cases, you do. Meaning if you want a woman that’s decent, you, yourself have to be decent! Not to mention, you have to stop “settling” for less than you need and deserve, just to avoid being alone or feeling unwanted. 

That statement “opposites attract is unrealistic.” In most cases, we attract “our heart’s desires.” 

Something happens to us externally, based on our internal intent/desires. 

I honestly believe that we release chemicals that causes our smile, hair, skin, walk, and speech to alter; which attracts (like a magnet) what lies within us. 

When I’ve only wanted a man for sex, those were “the type of men” I attracted and entertained. When I wanted a man for friendship or business purposes, “professional, decent men” where what I attracted. 

Now of course, you get “some off brands” in there regardless of your intent. That’s life! 

Men need to go back to “being content” with simply “speaking to” an attractive woman. Why do so many of you have the “urge” to go further? Why do some of you become “so upset or disrespectful” when ignored? 

Men regain your self respect and morals. STOP being so quick to “give of yourselves financially and sexually” to a woman, knowing that you want or need more. Also, knowing that once the excitement of the money and sex wears down, you’ll be bored and still unsatisfied. 

Take time when “courting” a woman, even those you only want a sexual relationship with. You’d be surprised at the “inconveniences” you save yourself from. 

Most times, if you take the time to “Get a woman’s attention” beyond your penis or purchase power; you’ll see whether she’s a good fit for sexual favors or a future wife. 

However, keep in mind that you too will be exposed. You need to be clear about your intents and desires; from the beginning. Don’t play mind or emotional games! 

Demand “reciprocation and respect!” Meaning DON’T be ignorant; thinking that you HAVE to pay for “all the meals!” Make her cook for you sometimes, then you return the gesture. Ask her about “treating you to a trip or shopping spree.” 

I’m all for a man being chivalrous; however I respect my husband and men like him who “Demand respect and reciprocation!” I’ve learned to cook, manage money and how to be romantic with and without money” all because of him demanding reciprocation and respect. 

My husband paid for “Everything” literally at least the first 2 1/2 years we were together; even when I worked prior to getting pregnant with Jr; he still paid for everything! I’m talking dinners, cabarets, hotels, clothes, my girlfriend(s), recreational indulgences, etc..

I didn’t begin to reciprocate until “I became pregnant” and began to cook for him. Once I had Jr and returned to work, we were already living together and married and my reciprocation increased. Even when I’ve lost jobs or self sabotaged them; my husband has been right there by my side. 

I understand what he’s willing to do and accept. I appreciate the lessons that he and men like him have taught, and continue to teach me. 

I appreciate the relationship that we’ve had since the beginning. Despite the fact, that I viewed my husband as my “meal ticket/sugar daddy!” I’ve always been the “have my own” type of woman; it’s how I was raised to be. 

I’ve never been 100% independent, meaning I haven’t “lived entirely on my own EVER.” I’ve always lived with a relative, close family friend or man I was in a relationship with. However, I’ve always provided for myself independently; with little to no help from others. 

So I appreciate having this relationship because I appreciate “being apart of a team.” I also appreciate being spoiled when I can’t spoil myself, however I take great pride in being able to provide for my husband and son. 

Get a woman that’s a “team player!” 

All I’m saying is regain your self respect. Learn your boundaries. Demand the things you need from people, not what you want for instant gratification. 

Life’s too short to be a grown ass man, that looks, acts and speaks like a boy!