Originally Posted Saturday, August 3, 2013
IF ONLY more African American “Men and Women” were “Actually” focused on “raising their child or children” we would see “more” of this.
When I discovered I was pregnant and accepted that despite me “not” wanting to be a mother after miscarrying and feeling that God chose me to be a mother. Once I accepted that God knew my heart, better than I.
I made a conscious decision to have Jr and to “provide” for and to him until he reaches adulthood. I also made a conscious decision to raise him “through love” not in confusion, bitterness, or entitlement.
I want my son to believe in and achieve “anything” that he puts his mind and efforts to!
This shouldn’t “come as a surprise” however it does, because we as a people need to properly prioritize!
Here’s the online article
Here’s her Youtube interview, she’s obviously nervous; but she did great!
I can’t “stress” it enough that we as a people, but especially “my people” need to properly prioritize!
We especially as women, need to start “standing up and stepping out” on faith, not on “entitlement escapades.”
When you as a woman “allow” yourself to become impregnated and you then “choose” to carry that pregnancy to term; you have a “moral obligation” to that child to “provide.”
I am not “excusing” men; however I am saying that women need to be accountable for their actions and intentions.
My mother explained to me that as a woman, it’s ALWAYS our choice in regards to having a child and starting a family; because without a woman those things aren’t possible.
However, as a woman you can’t “expect” a man to “take care of you indefinitely” simply because you’re the mother or his child or children or his wife.
Responsible men and women “take care of = provide” for each other. There is no competition or expectation; simply work getting done!
A man isn’t going to “take care of anyone” even his mother “indefinitely!”
My mother explained that women used to be content “being the homemakers” because when their husband’s worked; they received an allowance!
After women’s liberation, women wanted more, got more and spent more!
Children then became the recipients of “allowance.” Therefore creating a false sense of entitlement and bitterness in many children for years to come.
With women’s liberation she stated that was one of the best and worst things that could have been done for women.
It was the best because it afforded women the many opportunities that we have today.
It was the worst because it took away from the “value system and family units” because once the women were “allowed” to obtain positions that made them financially superior to their males, it caused dis-accord in the home.
The dis-accord came in because “Women became tyrannical” similar to “some” of the men of the stiff neck age. Women also became “irresponsible” in regards to matters of their home; such as providing emotional/spiritual support and guidance, cooking, cleaning, child rearing, etc…
Some fathers were able to fill those slots effectively; others would’ve thrived more had they been allowed to be the man that brought home the bacon.
I’m fully aware that “Each couple” that has a child or children together will not be able to have a family unit; however it doesn’t mean you can’t “be a family!”
Being a family doesn’t cost anything. It only takes a lot of love, some humility and a little time.
WOMEN I encourage you to STOP and think about “A Child” the next time you’re having “unprotected” sex with a man who you don’t love, barely like and are probably using for gratification.
Consider “IF” you were to get pregnant; what would you do? Can you afford to take care of a child with or without his assistance/presence for 21yrs? If you can’t will you become bitter? What if he wants to be your husband? What if you don’t want the child but he does?
MEN I encourage you to STOP and think about “A Child” the next time you’re having “unprotected” sex with a woman who you don’t love, barely like and are probably using for gratification.
Consider “IF” she were to get pregnant; what would you do? Can you afford to take care of a child primarily or assist her for 21 yrs? If you can’t assist her will you become irresponsible or behave childishly? What if she wants to be your wife? What if you don’t want the child but she does?
People “Take the time” to “THINK” about what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with!
I need people to understand that “having a child IS a common law union.”
I say “common law union” because you and the other parent are “bound” to each other via “being responsible/accountable to and for that child for at least 18yrs; at the max 21yrs” legally, especially if child support is a factor. God forbid the man/woman’s child support case is in arrears; it can go on seemingly forever!
Every child deserves “two parents” within reason. I know all people “can’t be parents” because of their issues, especially those who are physically abusive.
However; many of you aren’t co-parenting with those you have an opportunity to co-parent with, because of your own “guilt behind the decisions you’ve made, bitterness, selfishness, or in rare cases protection.”
Just think about “The Future.”
Each child that we allow to come into the world regardless of why, how, with who, or where “ARE THE FUTURE.”
“THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE BEFORE INDULGING IN THE PRESENT!”